Bunker Survival Guide!
by Tel nok shock
Summary: Here is my, Shara, a fallen angel's, survival guide for living in an under ground bunker with former Angels, 4 Archangels, 2 Hunters, 1 techie, 1 prophet of the Lord, and 1 Former King of Hell. In other words one insane crazy place that'll leave any sane person calling an asylum for help. Contains Destiel and Sabriel. T for one itty bitty mention of sex.
1. Chapter 1

**Survival Guide for living with former Angels, 4 Archangels, 2 Hunters, 1 techie, 1 prophet of the Lord, and 1 Former King of Hell.**

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Rule #1: Never let any of the younger Angels, 10,000 years and below or really any of us, watch Disney Channel.

(I was grounded for 3 weeks. Yeesh I'm 3,000 years old and I'm still getting grounded!)

(It's not my fault they took to replicating some of the antics! Dean still won't let me near the power tools, or anything sharp for that matter, after the others tried to do an invention from Phineas and Ferb.)

Rule #2: Don't imply in the hearing ranges of Sam, Dean or Castiel that Sam and Gabriel slept together on more than one occasion.

(I got sent to the naughty corner for six hours after that.)

(Though everyone knows its true!)

Rule #3: Never imply that any angels slept with either Sam or Dean.

(They wouldn't talk to me for close to a week after that.)

(Charlie later told me that I was right. She was shocked to find out I already knew that.)

Rule #4: When everyone else is on a field trip and you come back early _make sure you call ahead_!

(This rule came after I came back early from one such occasion after Sam accidentally fed me something with, of all things, turnips in it because apparently my darling 5'5, orange-an'-brown eyed, raven haired, pale skinned waif of a vessel was allergic and transferred it to me. I got sick and Sam had to take me home to the bunker. I in all my idiocy decided not to call ahead thinking that Dean and Castiel were doing something like, oh I don't know, research on how to reverse all of this! Stupid now that I think about it. I could hear weird noises and decided to go see if he was sick or something. Then I opened the door and found him and Castiel quite naked and, ahem, doing things.)

(I then screamed and ran to the showers in an attempt to wash the images out of my poor poor retinas.)

(If you ignore this rule it's your own fault!)

(I still need brain bleach from that...)

Rule #5: Never give Adam mouth-to-mouth when he randomly appears in your bedroom.

(He woke up and it turned to kissing. Then Michael and Lucifer popped up, still working out how they found him, and then we both got yelled at. And, to add insult to injury, Castiel came in half dressed and screamed bloody murder calling the whole bunker down.)

(And then they **all** started yelling and it was a big mess and neither of us got any breakfast!)

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**Well hope you enjoyed! Please review, fav or follow. Preferably all of the above!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this took so long but school got in the way!**

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Rule #6: When getting yelled at by Michael and Lucifer it is inadvisable to bring up Gabriel and Raphael.

(I did so after the whole 'me and Adam kissing incident'.)

(Then they yelled at me when they finally showed up a few days before Halloween, my favorite holiday!)

(My family is so screwed up.)

Rule #7: Never insult the following movies in either my or Charlie's hearing range.

The Princess and the Frog, the new Disney version.  
(Do not ask.)  
Pacific Rim  
(I wanna chibi jaeger!)  
Zombieland  
(A bunker favorite.)  
Avengers  
(Hawkeye and Captain America are cute. Don't tell my brothers I said that.)  
And Cinderella.  
(Again, do not ask.)

Rule #8: Never put a fake spider in Dean's shower.

(He screamed so loud I could hear it from where me and my fellow fallen angel Markian were in the kitchen.)

(Somehow he knew it was me and I got yelled at and sent to the naughty corner.)

(I don't know how he knew it was me because it could've been Gabriel!)

Rule #9: Two words: Lubricated condoms.

(DO NOT ASK!)

Rule #10: Never steal anybodies respective candy.

(Dean stole Kevin's jelly beans... and the bunker hasn't been quiet since.)

(And I still can't find my bucket of sticks!)

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**Yeah I'm sorry this took so long!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Lets just say a lot of shit has been happening with me and don't expect me to update very much during December since a move I'm less than pleased with is happening then. Grr...**

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Rule #11: Never host a treasure hunt with the following items on the 'must find' list.

1 pair of Dean's boxer  
(All his underwear went missing and he was not happy with any of us)  
1 condom. extra points if lubricated  
(We raided Sam's bathroom.)  
! bottle of lube, 10 points extra if flavored  
(Again Sam's room.)  
! Trench coat  
(Surprisingly found in Dean's room.)  
! of Castiel's ties  
(Again found in Dean's room. Don't ask where.)

Rule #12: Never assume that because I am not overly strong and very small that I can not kick ass.

(Crowley said something rude while I was in a bad mood.)

(He disappeared for a few days.)

Rule #13: Crowley is no longer allowed in any room but his own and the common areas.

(He may have walked in on some of us *cough Dean and Castiel cough* in, ahem, compromising position.)

(Hehe, I tease them mercilessly.)

Rule #14: ABSOLUTELY NO MORE Transformers IN THE BUNKER!

(Markian may have tried to create a Wheeljack.)

(My ears are still ringing from the explosion.)

(Michael wasn't happy.)

Rule #15: Just because Crowley's name has the word 'crow' in it does not mean he needs a pet crow named Crow-ley!

(It pooped on him and flew out the door when Dean got back.)

(We got yelled at again.)

(Lucifer found it hilarious though!)

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**Okay people I am running low on ideas here! You want a rule leave it in a review! Hey that rhymes! Sorta.**


	4. Chapter 4

**And I bring you another installment of BSG! **

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Rule #16: Sam should never leave his laptop unattended in the following peoples presences:

Gabriel  
(He was researching stuff that was NC-17. *shudder*)  
Markian  
(He accidentally put a bug in it. Whoops.)  
Dean  
(No comment.)

(I am not on the list because I use it responsibly. Hence this rule guide coming alive.)

Rule #17: No more Transformers means: NO MORE!

(Again, Wheeljack.)

(Ears still ringing slightly. My Grace maybe dented slightly.)

Rule #19: The saying 'an apple a day keeps the doctors away if you throw it right' does not apply to Raphael.

(Trust me. We all tried!)

Rule #20: No more Stargate Atlantis either!

(Me and the others tried to create a Stargate.)

(Michael said no.)

(Sam and Dean said yes though! We're keeping it in the dungeon for now.)

(Our poor poor toaster oven...)

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**Two chapters in two days! Oh my! I see that you guys are faving and following but could you please leave a review? It keeps me motivated! Please leave a rule in the review if you want it to make it in!**


	5. Chapter 5

**And I bring you my new rules!**

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Rule #21: No more Stargate period!

(We almost succeeded in making a wormhole!)

(But Sam found out and shut us down.)

(Meanie *pouts*)

Rule #22: Never assume that an un-powered Crowley is a nicer Crowley.

(He's still an evil bastard with Kevin-related problems.)

Rule #23: No Supernatural books!

(Blame Charlie! It was her idea for us to read them!)

(I'm a total Destiel shipper!)

Rule #24: One Direction and Big Time Rush are still allowed in the bunker but not within the following people's hearing ranges.

Dean  
(Both bands love songs totally apply to his relationship with Castiel in my opinion!)  
Gabriel  
(He'll sing the song obnoxiously loud *shudders*)  
Sam  
(He'll glare and smash who/whatever's singing their songs. Though he likes Love me Love me and Story of my Life.)

(Everyone else likes them though! Or at least doesn't mind them.)

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**I absolutely LOVE both BTR and 1D so I had to put them in here. I couldn't resist! Please leave a rule in the review box!**


	6. Chapter 6

**And I bring you my new rules!**

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Rule #25: Never try and summon Michael, Lucifer or Raphael in public.

(Apparently repeating the name Lucifer under your breath is grounds for being put in an insane asylum. Don't ask.)

Rule #26: No candy for Gabriel before dinner!

(Sugar high for three hours after dinner! *shudders*)

(I don't even wanna know what Sam did to calm him down!)

Rule #27: No more burgers for Dean and Castiel!

(A massive food fight ensued, though we all gladly participated!)

(Until Charlie got ketchup in her hair and broke it up *pouts*)

Rule #28: Sam gets all the rabbit food he wants.

(No arguments!)

Rule #29: No more VeggieTofu in the bunker.

(Ask Kevin, not me, i'd rather not say why. *embarrassed flush*)

Rule #30: Me, Charlie and Becky are no longer allowed to Skype one another.

(We racked up quite the internet bill!)  
(Sam and Dean was not happy!)

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**Thirty rules down and God (no pun intended) knows how many more I'm gonna do. So any rules you guys want? Leave 'em in a review!**


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